The most intense flashback of my life: acid chronicles
A quick dive into my discovery of the world of psychedelics
When I was just 16 years old, I had my first real relationship and the guy I was dating was the person who first introduced me to the drug world. By drugs I don't mean anything too crazy, just the usual teen experimentation of things like weed, psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, a little bit of ether, ecstasy, whippets... Anyone else? No? Just me?
This guy I was dating, let's call him Mark, was a legend at our high school. He was known for showing up ad every party with his guitar case that had been custom fitted and designed on the inside to perfectly carry his wide selection of drugs. It was the most ingenious shit any of us idiots have ever seen in our lives.
I didn’t start dating Mark because of any of that, though. Just to make that clear. We were really in love, like that crazy 16 year old kind of love. We wrote each other letters, made each other mixtapes, took polaroid pictures together and went on dates in his dad’s old vintage sports car. We were head over heels in love, and he was a true sweetheart. Too bad we were both too young to realize how immature we were.
Either way, back to the story.
The first time I tried LSD it was in Mark's parents' apartment, as the rest of his family was sleeping.
Mark placed a tiny little piece of paper in my mouth and told me to let it dissolve under my tongue. He grabbed his Pink Floyd 'Dark Side of the Moon' record and pressed play. By the third or fourth song, my mind starts to melt in perfect synchrony with the music. I swear that album was 100% made for acid, I'm convinced.
I started staring out at his record collection, and watched in amazement as the colors started to melt off the records onto the bookshelf, forming a beautiful rainbow of fire.
We start scrolling through some old school magazines he had around and a cartoon woman starts to take life and winks at me, teasing my mind. I don’t remember fully the rest of the night but I can assure you things got much weirder.
Next weekend, we take another dosage of LSD. The weekend after that, another dose again.
The Monday after the last dosage, I walk into school and into my first class. I sit down at my desk and, feeling hungover and tired as shit, I keep quiet and try not to be noticed by my teacher.
At some point of the lesson, however, I go to crack my back as usual. I twist and turn myself around the chair of my desk and as soon as I do, I feel an intense rush go up the entirety of my spinal cord, hitting the back of my brain.
Within seconds, I started hallucinating in the middle of fucking class.
I look at my professor and her face starts to morph away in the distance and then back again in the first plane. Her eyes have left her face and they are now on my desk, staring straight into my soul.
At this point, I'm totally shitting myself, thinking I need to find a way out of there. I wanted to get up and go to the bathroom but I couldn't move any part of my body, I couldn't readjust my vision to reflect any ounce of reality.
I grip on to the edges of my desk and brace myself for the rest of the ride.
I start to stare at the door frame, convincing myself that there is no possible way that door could be moving in real life. I sit there for about another 15 minutes, just staring at the door, holding on to my desk for dear life.
I’m sure people noticed, but thankfully no one said anything.
I finally regain control of my thoughts and vision, class is over and I run out of there to splash water on my face, thinking… did that really just fucking happen to me?
The weeks following that experience, I kept having numerous other types of flashbacks, but more in the corners of my eyes. I would just see dark shadows or figures running past me along with the occasional random squiggly lines.
After that back cracking experience, I decided to lay low on drugs for many many years (except weed and alcohol). I couldn’t trust myself. The issue really wasn't the drugs, it was me. I was the one who abused it. I was the one with the young brain in development who didn’t respect the long tradition of taking psychedelics responsibly.
About 5 years later though, at a camping music festival and decided to try some LSD and it was a beautiful, beautiful experience. Since then, I’ve taken a few microdoses and have been totally fine.
If there’s anything you can take away from my story is the importance of taking drugs responsibly, as an adult, and spacing them out. Or don't do drugs.